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Photos: February 2002 New Jersey November 2002 Adirondacks, NY December 2002 My fotolog Shameless Commerce: Jewelry Boxes and One-of-a-Kind Objects created by Blandman Get My Diaryland Trading Card!
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![]() May 28, 2003 - 1:18 PM Cough, Sniffle, Blargh Three-day weekend!! YAY!! I was sick the whole time!! BOOO! I've been sick the last couple of weekends. I have been sick more times in the past 6 months then I was the entire year previous to that. And this concerns me. I'm not concerned that I am getting sick often, I am concerned that I might not really be sick. I mean, sure, I'm up half the night blowing my nose and coughing, but how can I be sure that I am genuinely sick and not just pretending to be sick? Lying in bed at night I wonder, am I just faking it? Am I doing this so that I have an excuse to stay in bed all day, to ditch the gym, to not make dinner? What if I am faking it? Does that mean I have Munchausen Syndrome? How weird would that be? If I had Munchausen Syndrome, would I even realize it? If I have Munchausen Syndrome, will it stop at just colds or will I do much more harmful things to myself to make me appear sick? I hope I don't accidentally kill myself or put myself into a coma. I don't like being sick. I'd almost prefer to know that I am faking it; because then that would mean I'm actually healthy. I'd much rather be healthy then sick. Let's say I am faking; how will I catch myself? I haven't been putting the thermometer up against the light bulb. I haven't been putting my fingers down my own throat. Have I been doing anything that would reveal my charade? I mean, I'd have to be a pretty could actor to cough up some of this yucky shit from my lungs. This sputum looks pretty real. And my nose has actually been runny. I'll just be lying there and WHOOSH! Out comes snot. What should I do? I can't keep this up much longer; it is cutting into my drinking time. This all has me very worried. It might make me feel better if some of you bought me a little something. ![]()
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