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May 15, 2003 - 1:27 PM
I Meant to Write and Post This on Mother's Day, but I've Been Busy
I Meant to Write and Post This on Mother's Day, but I've Been Busy
Every Thursday I visit my 92 year old grandmother in the nursing home.
A few years back she broke her hip. When her hip healed she fell and broke her other hip. She spends most of her time in a wheel chair now, but she can still take a few shaky steps on her own when she wants to. That's the reason she is in a nursing home, because of her limited mobility and danger of falling.
Other then that, she's of completely sound body. She drives her wheelchair like it's an Indy car. And she has no significant loss of her mental ability. Sure she forgets things now and again, maybe more so than most people, but she is 100% aware of her surroundings – people, places, things. Not too shabby for a person in their 90s.
It's a good thing that she is mentally competent. It makes it easier for me to be sarcastic to her when she is sarcastic to me first. And this she is to me at times. It makes her laugh when I give back to her what she dishes out.
Recently she had cataracts removed from both her eyes. Now she tells us that she can't understand why she has so many wrinkles, which she claims she didn't have before. When you ask her, "When did you get wrinkles, Nan, about the time you had the cataracts removed?" She says, "yeah" and laughs.
I have a button on my jacket that says, "Oops! I forgot to have children." My grandmother chuckled when she saw it. And then she told me in all seriousness that if she had it all to do over again, she wouldn't have had children.
Actually the reason she ended up in the nursing is because of one of her children – my aunt.
Last time my grandmother broke her hip (about 1.5 years ago), my aunt had her moved right from the hospital to the nursing home. She did this without discussing it with anyone, including my grandmother.
Before that my grandmother was still living on her own in a little apartment in a building for retired people. When she was put into the nursing home, my aunt and a couple of her kids went into my grandmother's apartment and either got rid of or took everything; shoes and clothes, handbags and even underwear – gone.
My Grandmother used to have a collection of frog figures. Not one frog showed up at the nursing home when my grandmother ended up there. On holidays and special occasions I give my grandmother a frog figurine now.
The one thing my grandmother really hates about the nursing home is the food and I don't blame her. The food looks terrible; I can only imagine how it tastes. So every time I go over there I bring her some dinner. She likes turkey clubs and meatball sandwiches. Sometimes she asks me to bring her sausage pizza.
One thing she misses is real eggs, sunny side up. They only serve powdered eggs at the nursing home, so occasionally I take my grandmother to the diner down the street. It's an involved process. I have to sign the book that I am taking her out of the nursing home. Then I drive the car up to the front door. She gets from the wheelchair into my car ok. Then I have to fold up this big wheelchair and get it into my trunk. That's kind of hard because the chair is slightly heavy. Then we reverse the process when we get to the diner.
One of the last times we went to the diner resulted in my first accident since I got my car 6 months ago. We were done eating and I got my grandmother bundled into the car just fine. As soon as I closed her door, the heavens opened up and an incredible deluge began. Pouring! Huge huge rain drops! I struggled to get the wheelchair into the trunk as the rain tried to drown me. Soaking wet, I got into the drivers seat and started the ignition. It was not only raining like crazy but it was dark too. I could barely see out of my windshield. I backed the car out the parking spot, then "BUMP!" "Fuck", I said in front of my grandmother who didn't seem to notice my impropriety. I just about shit myself thinking I had hit another car. I jumped out and saw to my relief that I had only hit the concrete base of the diner's sign. I looked at the car and saw that the bumper had popped off a little and there was some of the paint was scraped. Mostly the damage was minor, but damn, the car was practically new! I took my grandmother back to the nursing home and went home immediately. Thankfully I was able to get the bumper fixed for under $300.
Another thing about my grandmother: she likes to gamble and she especially likes the lottery. I think she has been "playing the numbers" most of her life. A couple of weeks ago I took her out to the supermarket and she played the "Pick 6" for the first time in 2 years. She was happy. I think the lottery is a waste of money but if it makes her happy to throw away a dollar here and there, whatever. In fact if any of you want to send my grandmother a "Pick 6" I bet she'd be happy to have it and she might even give you a couple thousand if she wins.
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