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April 08, 2003 - 2:07 PM
The Wonderful Earrings I Used to Make
The Wonderful Earrings I Used to Make
I was IMing with Peth a week ago.
Btchelicious: Hey, remember the time my sister tried to kill herself?
Insecta: What? No!! Which one?
Btchelicious: You don't remember? Didn't I tell you?
Insecta: No, you never told me that. I think I would have remembered.
Btchelicious: Oh yeah, my sister tried to kill herself. Back when we were in high school. Are you sure I never told you this?
Insecta: Wow. What happened? Which one? Is this an April Fool's Day joke?!
Btchelicious: My oldest sister. No she really tried to kill herself, downed a handful of pills. I can't believe I never told you this. I think it happened about the time we were 15. Maybe we weren't talking at that time.
Insecta: We were still on talking terms then.
Btchelicious: Hmmm…Oh, wait, I remember. It happened during warm weather, spring or summer. And I remember we weren't talking to each other by the end of 9th grade. I have pictures of us all at our freshman "graduation" al in our white (virginal) dresses and I remember how weird it was because we weren't talking.
I was reminded of the episode because I was telling someone (was it Vyv?) about the fucked up things from which I used to make earrings when I was a teen. I once made an earring out of razorblades. The earring was long and would sweep my neck and shoulders but it never did any real harm. I don't remember if I used to wear it to school…
I also made an earring out of ammonia inhalants.
Anyway, my oldest sister did try to kill herself many years ago. Came home drunk in the wee hours of the morning, pulled some old prescription pills out of the medicine cabinet, shoved a bunch in her mouth, then woke up my mom to tell her.
My mother woke up our other sister and I woke up because of the commotion. We tried to induce vomiting but my oldest sister does not vomit. My other sister actually drove to the pharmacy she worked at to get some Ipecac she was gone for at least 45 minutes while my mother and I tried to keep my oldest sister conscious. We walked her around and screamed in her ear. We tried all sorts of things to keep her awake. I don't know who remembered about the ammonia inhalants, but I went into my bedroom and grabbed my ammonia inhalant earring. My mother broke one of the vials and stuck it under my sister's nose. I think it woke her up for about 2 seconds.
When my other sister got back we realized that there was nothing more we could do. I was sitting my mother's bedroom floor with my oldest sister leaning against me, totally unconscious but breathing. Other sister and I yelled at my mother to call 911. We yelled at her a couple times to do it. I watched my mother pick up the phone and hesitate for a moment. We yelled at her again.
When the paramedics arrived, they were followed by cops. A bunch of strangers in my mother's bedroom yelling my oldest sister's name, pulling medical devices out of bags. I retreated to my own bedroom. My other sister followed me. I can't remember what we said to each other. Suddenly a cop appeared in the doorway. "Do you have any idea what would have made her want to do this?" he asked. I think I laughed. Then I turned away. My other sister answered him, "Just a lifetime of crap."
My mother told me that if anyone asked what happed I was to tell them that my oldest sister fell down the stairs. No one ever asked.
She was in the hospital for about a week. The doctors recommended counseling but she refused. When she came home, it was like it never happened. We never talked about it again. Ever. It's been almost 20 years and I have never asked my oldest sister about this incident.
Now a-days my oldest sister takes anti-depressants.
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