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April 01, 2003 - 10:36 AM
April Fools!
April Fools!
Last April Fool's Day, 4/1/02, I convinced Fred, Keeper of the Monster, that Blandman had accidentally sawed off his finger doing various wood sawing things that he does. The emails were as follows:
From: "Bitchelicious"
To: "Fred"
How was your weekend?
Blandman cut off one of his fingers with the table saw
From: "Fred"
To: "Bitchelicious"
Oh my god! Really! Which finger? How is he doing?
I am fine but feeling a little ill, and took a sick day today and am home.
This weekend went well. L and I are in great shape.
Tell me about Blandman.
From: "Bitchelicious"
To: "Fred"
It was the finger he uses for foreplay.
From: "Fred"
To: "Bitchelicious"
Are you joking?
Is Blandman at work?
From: "Bitchelicious"
To: "Fred"
Yes. But his finger is at home.
From: "Fred"
To: "Bitchelicious"
Just the tip? They cannot re-attach? That is horrible news.
This IS a joke right?
From: "Bitchelicious"
To: "Fred"
No, the whole finger. And no, they can't reattach it. Ys, it is bad news
but the good news is that we were able to save it and keep it at home.
they weren't able to sew the finger back on. But we kept it anyway. It is
on the bed-side table.
From: "Fred"
To: "Bitchelicious"
Do you plan on just letting it dry out? Bugs or the cats will likely eat it.
You should either freeze it of keep it suspended in a preserving liquid.
You should have put it in phermalahyde. I am sure the Mutter museum could use it. I would like to pay money to see Blandman's finger again.
From: "Bitchelicious"
To: "Fred"
They best part of saving the finger is that it was his foreplay finger and
now he can still give me forplay with it because we saved it.
From: "Fred"
To: "Bitchelicious"
"Ohh baby, stick your zombie finger up my ass!"
The next day 4/2/02:
From: "Bitchelicious"
To: "Fred"
Oh, by the way, Blandman's finger grew back.
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