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March 03, 2003 - 4:11 PM
I <3 Motels
I <3 Motels
Throughout the almost 20 years that Blandman and I have been together, we have done a lot of traveling in the US. We especially like road trips. There's something invigorating about driving away from your house, your job, you family, something emancipating about it. You can convince yourself for a short time that all those stressful things are behind you, left in the dust.
During our travels we have slept many different places. We've stayed in posh bed and breakfasts in Wyoming and slept on dunes on the shores of Lake Michigan. Once we couldn't find any motel rooms in Virginia and we slept in the car at a rest stop. Well, Blandman slept. I was too freaked out to sleep because of the van parked 2 spots away from us. All night long men were in and out of that van. And also we had an art car at the time that offended people and I thought that if I fell asleep in that car at a rest stop I would never wake up again, if you know what I mean.
I love motels. Blandman doesn't understand this. He sees motels as just a place to get some sleep before moving on to another destination. The things I love about motels are running down the hallway looking for the ice, candy and soda machines. I believe that motels make a great effort to cleverly hide the little room that holds these things. It's like a little treasure hunt. I also enjoy looking for the Gideon Bible. That always gives me a tingle when I find it.
There have been so many motel rooms that we've stayed in, I can't remember them all. Although some are memorable, like the one in Cherokee, NC with the old couple at the front desk watching a televangelist on a little black and white TV; a large woman in a housedress who glared at us while checking in, the man in a chair looking dead although maybe he was just sleeping.
I also remember the motel in Freeport, ME. The motel itself wasn’t actually the memorable part. The memorable part was being waken up in the morning by a thump, thump, thump coming through one of the walls. I wasn't even sure which wall, all I knew was that I was rudely woken out of a sound sleep. Actually I wasn't sure at all where it was coming from. In my groggy state I finally realized what was going on when I heard the guttural moaning of a man - uh, uh, uh…..uh, UH! I did laugh hysterically.
I think the most memorable motel though was in Virginia. It was lat at night, after midnight, perhaps even close to 2:00AM. We had been driving for a lot time and were in sore need of sleep. The few motels we had already stopped in had been booked. We were getting more and more tried as well as more and more frustrated. The next motel we ended up at had a vacancy and we were glad to take it. During the night, both Blandman and I noticed a strange (and bad) odor in the room, but we were so tired that we did not pursue the matter. It wasn't until the next morning that the mystery was solved. We had noticed that the odor was stronger near the bed. Then we noticed the odor was stronger on the bed. It was vaguely familiar but we were having a hard time identifying it. Suddenly realization came into both our eyes. As we looked at each other, we both burst out, "IT'S VOMIT!!" We had slept all night on a bed that someone had puked on and still stank. I guess the motel staff didn't do a good job at cleaning it. By that time, I just wanted to get out of there. I should have marched down to the lobby and demanded a refund or at least a discount, but instead we just got on the road again.
If I remember correctly, that last motel was a Super8.
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