July 08, 2002 - 1:48 PM

Kinetic Ball of Destructive Energy

Kinetic Ball of Destructive Energy

Spending the weekend with an 8 year old boy has entirely reinforced my opinions about having kids.

We rented a car for the trip. I hope I won't be billed for returning a car that smells like vomit, feet, strawberry Quick and pepperoni pizza.

Here are the main points about this weekend:

• The kid threw up in our rental car about 10 miles from our destination.


• He is entirely too fascinated with fire as well as killing bugs.


• He can not pass a plant and not pick it or at least pick at it.


• He only pays attention when you speak to him at 100+ decibels.


• He smacked his head on a rock while we were hiking.


• He doesn't understand that you shouldn't jump from boulder to boulder where losing your balance could mean a 156 foot drop.


• Is it too much to ask that you put the cap back on the marker when you are done using it?


• Strawberry Quick is pretty pungent when it finds it's way out of the bottle and onto the floor mats.


• The boy insists on eating pizza by disassembling it. Also, he can not eat pizza with out it ending up on his shirt and/or lap.


• He is forever throwing rocks.


• I never knew 8 year old feet could smell so rank.


• Little boys have to eat every 2 hours.


• Some chicken fingers are "better" then others.


• Trying to get go one mile on I95 in Maryland at the end of a holiday weekend will take you 15 minutes.

Clarification:
It is not like I specifically wanted to hang out with an 8 year old. The little boy really looks up to Blandman and so he was invited on a camping trip. I went along because I didn't want to miss out on a weekend in Virginia. Being with the kid for a weekend has reinforced my opinions about having kids, which is NOT to have kids.
And in case anyone was wondering, there was some positive things about the weekend, such as:

• The weather was great.
• Hiking Old Rag Mountain in Shenandoah was entirely great.
• I saw a couple of cute dogs.
• I spent one afternoon by myself at the campsite doing nothing.
  Jab ----- Hook

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